27 January 2011

Dreams

I'm a daydreamer, I can't really help it. if i get bored, my mind always wanders onto something else that's completely irrelevant. most of the time, i think out situations in my head that i either wish or i could have done differently. i plan out what i would say, what the other person would say, what we would do. i even daydream about how my current and future lives would be different if the situation happened the way i imagined it. it's fun to fantasize, but sometimes it makes me sad. I'm always so much braver in my daydream than i am in real life.

and then i realise, its more than a dream.. I'm hoping for more. I'm hoping that all my dreams will come true. it keeps running in head makes me feel so stupid. pushing and forcing everyone around me just to make my dreams come true. it makes me become the person I'm not.. it makes me become more selfish.

my dreams makes me live in anger and in pain.. thinking of it makes me go crazy.. thinking of it makes me cry each and everyday..

and now i don't want to pursue my dreams anymore.. I'll bury it deep inside me..

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